Twitter’s funniest sex jokes have all been collected in one place

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RUDE: These gags are definitely not for younger readers (Pic: Getty)


And some of them are very funny indeed. And quite a few are very rude. These gags are most definitely not for younger readers.

Ham on Wry got the ball rolling back in January with “Is it still a walk of shame if your mom picks you up?” while Brandy Jensen combined a lesson on Twitter etiquette with a long-overdue confession: “…deleted a joke because someone pointed out it had been tweeted before which I believe, ethically, makes up for the time I cheated on a very nice ex named Dave.”

Ursula used Twitter’s minimal character count to best advantage with the super-pithy: “We bought an 82 inch TV.

Football: awesome

Porn: terrifying.”

Similarly, Taming Fred Savage came out with a short-form good cop-bad cop gag that told a big big story:

“Good cop: we need to conduct a cavity search

Better cop: it’ll be gentle, we have scented oils

Best cop: I’m next.”

Larry’s Twin came up with a gem that will soon be passed of as their own work by aspiring stand-ups everywhere: “Wife: That was the best sex EVER!

“Me: Really?

“W: OMG, it truly was.

“M: That’s great. But where are you calling from?”

The simply-named Ben came up with a wry, self-deprecating belter that anyone could pretend was theirs: “Masturbating is like dating except no one is disappointed and you’ve saved yourself £70.”

Love Bug kept with the self-deprecation theme in another imaginary conversation: “[first date] 

him: I love an outdoorsy kind of girl who’s also dirty in bed. 

me: * trying to impress* I once slept with a hobo who lives in the woods.”

Ian Sausage also went with the dialogue format: “Wife: Yes, that’s it! Keep doing that! Yes! Yes!

Me: *walking further and further away*”

Finally, Kate Lyn came up with something that is half joke, half worrying thought that will ensure you’ll never sleep again: “Is our sex life porn for a ghost?”

You can kep an eye on thread starter Andy here





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