Here’s a riddle that only Spanx would try to answer: What do you get when you cross granny’s stomach-sucking girdle with the cheekiness of a g-string?
You get the “Suit Your Fancy High-Waisted Thong,” which sells for $64 to $68, depending on the size.
Spanx’s bizarre undergarment — which the brand cheerily touts as “the ultimate shaping solution for when you’re getting glam” — is the mullet of shapewear. It’s business in the front, bordello in the back.
But it’s just not the item’s unusual design that’s getting recipients of the brand’s targeted Facebook ads riled up.
The problem is the “Comfort Crack”: a term that Spanx has apparently trademarked.
Yes, you read that right — comfort crack is now a thing! Ladies, it’s not enough for you to have a band of belly-busting elastane slinking up your bum. The United States Patent and Trademark Office is now telling you that it’s comfortable, too.
However, social media watchdogs aren’t so convinced.
“You guys, they TRADEMARKED Comfort Crack,” one commenter pointed out for laughs, currently earning 132 likes.
Another politely questioned the usefulness of this particular garment. “Excuse my ignorance, but would a plus-size woman not also desire rear control?”
“Hmmm, comfort crack,” another mused. “Ain’t nothing comforting about something going up your crack!”
And the real butt kicker: “Show me a model who’s bigger than a size 0. This is the dumbest ad campaign ever. Way to go jerks.”
By Rachelle Bergstein